Monday, February 9, 2009

How much will you buy ur groom for???

Y would a physically healthy, educated, earning/working, grownup young guy need money? I am not sure of his mental health and maturity though? I ask this to myself. 

"Well, there could be many reasons" says me to myself. "He may want to buy a land or a house for use or investment, study further, trave abroad, just splurge doing some fun things, buy some fancy gadgets for his home, contribute in his siblings wedding, gift his parents some material stuff or just put in his bank for assurance and liquidity."
Fine.. possible.. sounds good & its all ok.

But the annoyance comes into existance when you learn that he wants this money from the girl he would marry or from her parents.
yes, he needs D O W R Y.. In the form of cash or car or house or one side funding the whole wedding or a lavish honeymoon or all of these or whatever????

I dint encounter such a family during my own groom hunt search. Must consider myself lucky. 

BUT HOW??? how on earth, in todays age, can somebody even open their mouth to seek dowry, I fail to understand??? WHY is it that a girl equally capable (if he cant accept her to be better or more) does not make it all for a wedding alliance???

I have heard of girls bringing car or at times house, appliances or furnishings as wedding gift accepted from her parents. I know every parent wants to shower their daughter with everything possible for them and girl has full right to bring it along if she so wishes and if the grooms side has no issues in accepting them. Can this be termed as dowry? I dont think so, dowry is what the guy or his parents demand and I am wondering how can they make this demand... &%#$!! sorry, I had resolved not to use bad words this year!

I usually dont get into such hurting, argumentative subjects; not because I am fine with them but because i feel so incapable of changing and dealing with them on a larger scale. However, I decide to live the change; as they say- it starts from within.

All my respect goes to those parents of girls and in many cases of guys also, who oppose this sick-cheap custom or tradition. Like all other customs, dowry must also have started with some logic or reason that doesnt exist anymore but some shameless families are still safegauring this and not hesitating even if this means 'selling their son'. 
When will we change for good and move ahead??? Pains to see my country still trapped in such issues?

One of my friends came across this handsome guy whose family had a big enough mouth. With her consent I reproduce bits of what some of them said or felt. Its pains to read thru, each statement for a different reason.

guy's DAD - "I have given huge dowries for 3 of my daughters - so now I want it too."
guy - "nothing like that was mentioned on the matrimonial profile so we thought you would be open to it” 
girl - "Perhaps they didnt like me & hence asked for so much"

I am happy my friend's parents were against dowry seekers(inspite of having 2 sons u see) but who is the sufferer here? The girl ofcourse, as she makes this wrong and negative assumption about her own self..

I only told her not to think like that as I think the loss is all on other side. 
Is dowry not illegal? Something must be done to stop it, to wipe it off the society... I really feel so incapable of doing anything here but I am so upset with it :O Sorry for this cheap subject line but I am really appalled right now.

Someone out there thinks guys can be put up on sale, sons can be auctioned for a car or something. Doesnt that sound disgusting.. Its more heinous than that.


Masood said...

I agree with you 100%. Absolutely disgusting. Firstly, the girl's family has to give away their daughter. And secondly, they have to pay for it too. Thirdly, in most cases, first time is not the last time! There will be equal or more demands later. Some norms or traditions of our society are so wrong yet no one does anything about it. Where are the fuckin sainiks or rama sena now? They go about beating girls in public, coz they think it's immoral, yet something like this lives down through generations and is practiced so openly, and no one does anything about it!

mindspace said...

you know masood, I cant forgive that handsome-by-looks guy for supporting his parents in seeking dowry.. even if i dunno him at all...

he is a F****** looser.

asit dhal said...

dowry seekers are cowards, so are those who give dowry for the shake of tradition....

hey handsome-by-look guy, grow up buddy...grow up !!!

Iya said...

its disgusting, and to think education changes this thinking is wrong.. i have got some rude shocks in life when i saw some able colleagues propagating the thought

mindspace said...

@Asit - not only the guy but his parents need to ge awake. its a bloody crime if i may say so.

@Iya - you are right, education system has not helped as much in this area.. all dowry seekers are incapable greedy buggers.

Shruti Mukundan said...

damn criminals.. these r the ppl who actually need to be behind the bars. they should b ashamed to call themselves 'educated'!