Sunday, December 21, 2008

Such is life?

I fell in love with this Garhwali handsome jawan from the nearby air force base. he used to visit my fathers shop frequently to see me buy grocery. My baba’s shop was just outside the camp in Bagdogra, West Bengal. He was well built but only 19 then and I was 16 when our eyes met, later he  fought with one and all for persuasion, to make it happen and we got married in may 95. From there our life was happy together.

His family comprised of an old mother and 2 brothers. The mother never liked me but still my husband loved me very much and he allowed me live my way. We visited his village 4-5 times, and as years passed by we had babies. And today I have 3 of them, the eldest daughter is 12 yrs, a son of 10 years and another daughter of 6 years. They all love their father. I have studied only till 8th standard, and he never let me realize that I don’t know anything about the ways of the world. Whenever we needed to go out and work things out, he would manage it; be it gas cylinder, bank, train reservation, kids schools n studies, buying things for household needs. Since I knew he is with me, I never had to worry.

he fell ill some months back and doctors said its jaundice. I tried my jhad fuk ilaz and when he didn’t get well, he rushed to the sick quarters of bhuj air force where he was posted then. his condition didn’t improve so doctors shifted him to the bigger hospital in Mumbai near the place terrorists attacked recently. He called me that time telling that there is shooting and blasts happening in TAJ hotel. I was in Bhuj with my children but wanted to come and meet him. he said no. I was able to feel the pain in his voice and ask him to come to Mumbai every time he called but since I had to take care of the kids who are going to school in kendriya vidyalaya, I stayed back with a belief that he will be ok and come back soon. he also assured us of this. but two days back, he said “theek hai phir tu aa ja.” I asked one of his relatives staying nearby to arrange for me to come to Mumbai and be with the children till I come back. I wanted to see him with my eyes to assure myself.

I reached Mumbai by train. when I went to his bed, he hugged me and started crying. he had never cried like this before. he was all pale and lean lying on the bed. I controlled myself somehow & gave him an assuring hug that he need not worry. then the whole of yday I was sitting by his side. applying oil on his feet, giving him some juice to have and when he said he wants to have muli (radish) and the doc said he should not be given this coz it creates gas, I gave little bit of it to him without doctors notice. he told me to take care of the kids and live wherever I want to and do whatever I want to. I hated him for talking like this. and in the evening I said bye to him and went to the room he had got arranged for me by talking to doctors about me coming there to see him. it was around half a km away from the hospital where most of the attendants of patients come in the night.

I wish the next day would not have come. in the morning I walked to the hospital, and when I reached there, doctors were talking in English.. one of them patted my back and slowly said, sorry we couldn’t do much and he is no more! there was some mask on my husbands face maybe for oxygen or something. what do I say? I suddenly felt some lightening had struck my head. how could this happen???????? I don’t know what to do. I want to jump into the sea. please tell these doctors to give me an injection so I go with my husband...


yday was the first time in my life I was in a situation where being the only person sitting next to a lady just turned widow, in a hospital, all broke, so I gathered all my courage to try n console her and in the process of doing so, she was wailing with eyes wide open and told me her story.

In a state of shock for this unexpected had happened, she was inconsolable.

she belonged to bengal and her husband was from garwal. so it was a love marriage. the guys mother was not in favour so now she is gonna hate this lady even more of causing this curse to his son (that’s what this lady HEMA is fearing the most). what a pity/// I explained her that she needs to pray for her husband soul to rest in peace at this moment and not worry about other things.

she will get a job in air force since her husband died while serving, so how will she raise her kids and make is living was not an issue. the issue was where will she go? to her in-laws who don’t like her anyways, who stay in some village while her kids study in KV OR to her parents where there is an air force station nearby and a support system for sure.

she wants to do the last rituals in haridwar as that is the place near his native. but carrying his body from Mumbai to haridwar would be a cost to his brother who hesitates to spend saying air force will pay everything to HEMA later, who wants to go to bagdogra to her parents, where do I get the money from? This elder brother was looking like one lower middle class fellow but still do you think like this at such moment///


Family matter but it pained to see all this from such proximity yesterday when I reached hospital to see my dad.

The reason for death of this young man of 33 yrs was serious wound in his stomach caused during removal of stones by lazer. since he also had jaundice, he couldnt be operated and the the stone complicated the case. This is what i learnt from the people around.


Masood said...

This is so sad :(

I know it is really hard to be around someone who has just lost a loved one. I recently was in a similar situation.

mindspace said...

I somehow felt quite strong sitting next to her and was consoling her like one grand mom! & i think it was important for her to talk at that point of time.. talk abt whatever is in her mind.. n happy to hv been there for her in whatever way possible.
May god give her strength to face it n be good..

Reflections said...

Ohhhh so u said above, may God give her the strength to face the future.